The Institute

Hey! Things actually pretty much worked out this time! Woohoo!
I really hope I didn't speak too soon...

“This week started out normally enough. We were all sitting around eating sandwiches, talking about how evil Bridget would be if it wasn’t for us and wondering what happened to Phineas… My theory is that there is a metaphysical law about the number of mutants that can be in a room at the same time, and since Bridget is here Phineas can’t be… But anyway we were eating and chatting, when all of a sudden on the news a story came on about a mutant named Solaris who was calling himself Vector. Naturally we sprung into action and went out to the oil platform he had taken over to let him know that he had the wrong name for himself! Having let him know that his name is actually Solaris, he came back to the school with us. Turns out that his power is to rearrange molecules and whatnot! He somehow managed to rearrange his brain to make it not a brain, but still work like a brain… So no telepathy on him… Anyway, turns out he is like 14, so he won’t be coming out on missions with us or anything (since we’re X-men now) but just in case we were ever going to be seen in public with him I took him out to buy him a more respectable wardrobe, and Bridget tagged along so we bought her suitable clothes too.

While we were at the mall we saw some graffiti on the wall advertising a mutant rights rally! So we went to go supervise and make sure that nobody was going to start any trouble we’d have to deal with later. Turns out some guy named Guido who is really strong wanted to come out to the world. He was tired of feeling alone and scared, so he wanted to let other mutants know they aren’t alone! With that rallying cry, Bridget decided to step up on stage and be loud and proud alongside him! Joining them on stage were Captain Jizzopolis (with the incredible ability to emit viscous fluids from his body) and Immortal-suicide-bomber-dude (some guy who has a demon that jumps out of his chest whenever he dies, and then he eventually gets better and the demon presumably crawls back into his chest or something? Doesn’t seem to make a lot of sense… Is the demon also part of his mutant powers? Is it an infestation? We should probably see if we can fix that if it is…) and they all went back to Guido’s place to hang out and party. I stayed back and sent a telepathic message to the only other mutant who showed up asking to meet for coffee. She was in town for some chinese opera, which didn’t make that much sense since I thought she could probably find chinese opera in China (where she was from) but whatever. So we swapped contact info and let her know to call us if she needed help, and so that we could look her up if we were ever in China. Bliss came along to watch my back because she’s an ‘evil villain’ who ’doesn’t understand teamwork or caring’… (sarcasm!)"

Excerpt from Diary as dictated by Adam Douglas to Jacob Smith

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Oh man... Seriously, again? I mean, I gotta be getting something out of it at this point, so...
By reading this you wave your right to private thoughts. Neener neener pooper, y'all shoulda seen this coming. Also, by not reading this y'all are being negligent. Just... Negligent... Which proves you don't deserve independent thought. CATCH 22 MOF

Okay, So Sco….Havok drove us… flew us?… to Los Angeles. Tiny was all like “We can’t land near the town because it’s full of people and stuff” but his voice was even more high pitched and whiney than you are picturing it right now. I know. Hard to believe, but I know a dude whose eyes are portals to a dimension made of red concussive force… So there you have it. Anyway, Tiny said “Oh yeah, well I challenges ya to a race! My foots against your brains!” So I head off to the highway to flag down a ‘concerned citizen’ to take me into town. Once their, I find some people who won’t be significantly inconvenienced by the loss of their Hummer H2’s for an afternoon, and return to the group with transportation. Once I got back, Tiny was naturally indignant to my informing him that this is proof that cars are faster than walking. As usual, he was wrong, though.

Anyway, we drove around, because we had to make that “not evil spell” pattern with the box of “not orphans”, and wouldn’t you know it but someone was doing something evil to mutants on one of the points of our “not evil pentastargramigil”. Total coincidence, and in no way related to the flow of sacrificial innocence towards He Who Shall Take Delivery. So anyway, we say “Huh… Intelligence under a big mountain is usually a bad thing. That is where volcanos live.” and we poke around. Turns out there is a big ole’ paramilitary installation that has “no relation” to what we are there for. Despite the lack of direct incentive for us to do anything, we heroically determined that they were impinging on sentient rights… I think that is the term… Remind me to google this later so we look good and not like we just kinda were curious and happened to be right… And investigated! After a “heartfelt and impassioned speech” to the outer base guards, they saw the error of their ways and decided that they needed to help us liberate the aggrieved mutants within. This went pretty well until one of the guards we hadn’t spoken to abruptly screamed “I HATE LIBERTY WUBAWUBAWUBA HITLER IS MY DADDY LUBBALUBBALUBBA I AM WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING SCHROWSCHROWSCHROW!” and the facility went into lockdown. Because Nazis. Since the facility was in lockdown the team got split into two halves (as measured by effectiveness): I was upstairs, where I was left to rationalize with and diffuze an active security alert response by a trained paramilitary force, and the rest of the team worked together and tried really hard to take down one scientist without hurting her too much. Thankfully my team held back until I could neutralize the two dozen paramilitary operatives who were poised to storm the base, or I don’t know what the cost of our intervention would have been in human terms… But as it was I orchestrated the situation so that there were no casualties, and all the captured mutants were free. I just want to take this opportunity to say that not all liberated hostages are grateful… Some of them are petty, violent thugs who don’t know how to repay people who were instrumental in their freedom… ummm… because Bliss was totally instrumental. Couldn’t have done it without her. How? Umm… Remember that part… where… I… umm… got rid of those paramilitary dudes? She totally helped with that! So… Anyone mad at her about being imprisoned needs to understand that she helped save them! Yeah! That is totally not aimed at that one chick/dude we saved, but is an objective fact of truth!

Anyway, we rescued some chick/dude from that facility. She/he seems to collapse different people from different realities into one essence and “eats” them. Not to worry, though, because they are pretty sure all the people they have eaten are actually supervillain versions of themselves from other dimensions! Because that makes it all cool… Somehow… I guess… I’m genuinely conflicted here… If some dude made his way to the school naked and hungry and was like “MY LAST MEAL WAS HITLER!!!!” would I turn him away? How did these kinds of moral questions become my normal life? HOW IS NOBODY ELSE CONSIDERING THESE THINGS?!? Am I just subconsciously networking all of the brains in a several mile radius in order to create a facsimile of intelligence and sentience, and humans are all mere machines? I didn’t want to think so at first, but the evidence seems to be stacking up… And if I am one of the only programmers, is it really ethical for me to watch programs with obvious flaws go haywire? I know Tiny’s answer… “shrug”. And that is more comforting than Agent’s answer of “I am not an agent of fate! I don’t know what is supposed to happen! Stop telling people that!” So I guess it is up to me and Tiny to shape fate… Yet again… The only difference is that we are actually semi-licensed to do so (assuming the Vishanti have some form of authority over fate).

Anyway, we dropped the box of with some giant (and I cannot stress the size by which I mean GIANT enough) asshole who can’t get enough of himself (yeah, I know the irony of me judging this guy as such is huge… considering I hang out with Tiny) and went back home. Once we got home we went to check out if there was an evil lab where we saw an evil lab in the other universe. Turns out, once an evil lab… frequently an evil lab… but not quite always. But in this case, yes. An evil lab. So we were all poised to storm the place and liberate the mutants within, but it turns out we were there just in time to observe the contract negotiations of a psychopath with an amoral institution. Turns out the psychopath has the upper hand, and he let all the mutants go. We paid him $200 for the doctor in charge of the facility so that he could buy a puppy named Al… or something… I don’t care. Anyway, turns out one of our mutants started life as a dog, and several of our other mutants didn’t understand that just because they had only been sentient for a year or so didn’t mean they hadn’t had time to read all of the classics that I would be searching their minds for references to if they made them! I mean, come on! Talk to them on slightly more than puppy level!"

Excerpt from Diary as dictated by Adam Douglas to “Frank Silvertongue of 4137 Punta Alta Dr. Los Angeles California, Earth Somthing Something Something.”

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Uggggggggggggghhhhhhhhain we have to solve everything...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

“Okay… so we were in the soon to be aptly named Club Zero in Kansas, and Punchy was leaning on the bar lookin’ swag and fly at the same time. Didn’t have a care in the world, which didn’t really seem all that odd to me because he doesn’t really seem to have enough going on upstairs to have any cares, y’know? Anyway, Tiny goes up to him and is all “Dude, you crushed some dudes” and he’s all “Right? Wasn’t that sick?” And Tiny’s all “Dude… It was bad sick, not good sick” and Punchy’s all like “Whatev’s. Have a drink, bro!” so Tiny’s just like “Don’t call be bro, bro.” And Punchy’s like “Whatever bro!” and then punched Tiny. Or Tiny punched Punchy… I don’t know… I should really start writing in my diary like, right after things happen instead of waiting 2 weeks. I mean what am I really waiting for, some sort of perspective? Anyway, whoever decided to hit first isn’t really a big deal. Tiny uses his fist to club Punchy, Punchy uses his fist to club Tiny. On both sides: Effect of club? Zero. See what I did there? Oh wait, you’re all glossy eyed and writing… NO! Don’t write that! That was for you, not the book! Uggh… Anyway, Havok looked at Punchy in that special way that knocks boys off their feet, and Punchy got all hot and bothered. Meanwhile, Bliss started pumping out some sweet beats at the DJ station, and I sent a karate soldier out to the car to get our shiny Punchy-Fall-Down rocks. He got back and I started winging them at him with super pithy lines. Everyone thought it was super funny. Once he got beaned in the face with a couple of them Tiny and Havok beat Punchy down pretty good. We looked around at the place and said “Hmm… How can we best cover our tracks here?” So we looked at Boom-Boom, and she said “Boom?” So after we finished that we jetted back to the school and got Punchy all dried out so he was less punchy. Turns out red rocks turn him into a dick for the night, so I named them Dicktonite. Green rocks make him all sick, so they are called Cryptonight (cause you die from sickness and get put into a crypt, get it?). Anyway, fire put out. Hooray!

Then the Vishanti called… Turns out we need to give a thing to a guy, but not here, just in another dimension. Oh, and the thing is a big box full of “not orphans”. Plus you need to drag the “not orphans” in ritualistic-looking “totally not evil spell” patterns on your way there. I can’t believe we trusted Dr. Heelboots when he told us we were signing up to work for the good guys… Anyway, the bright side of this is that he gave us phat stacks of cash so that we could… I guess rent trucks and stuff or something. So once we were in the other dimension we went and asked ourselves if we could borrow our jet. We flew the jet to some woods somewhere in podunk nowhere and got out to start dragging the box of “not orphans” in the “totally normal and not evil spell” pattern. Turns out each time we got to a corner we got attacked by ninjas, so we can all check “fighting ninjas” off our bucket list. Anyway, after we realized that we were going to be fighting exponentially increasing numbers of ninjas I had a great plan: Psych telekinesised the ninjas up, and I went one by one and reprogrammed them to work for me now! So now I have ninjas! Sweet! Anyway, due to the exponential nature of exponential growth, even this totally sweet plan didn’t work for that long, and we were trying to map out exactly where Havok needed to knock down a bunch of trees so we could land the jet and burn the ninjas with the engines when we realized that we have a jet, and didn’t need to be hiking… So we flew the “not orphans” the rest of the way through the “not evil spell” pattern and then off to the place we needed to give the box to… I want to say Los Angeles? Maybe? I don’t know, Havok was driving…"

Excerpt from Diary as dictated by Adam Douglas to “Ugh… You are so much worse at this than the last guy… I should have kept him.”

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Uggggggggggggghhhhhhhh
so hard....

“So we got back from Kansas and everthing was pretty great. I mean… I was there. ;) So Chuck said Germany had a hole in it’s soul… Okay, it was just Kurt… And It might have just been me who was thoughtful enough to say “Hey guys, didn’t we deal with someone else getting hollowed out by a demon?”. So thanks to me Chuck said “Yo Bois, get to tha Rheinland and bring me that Blau!” For real, direct (paraphrased) quote. So we did. Kurt loves us, because we have been totally up front with him about what has happened with his demon possession and how he could help with saving an innocent girl’s soul, so he’s basically the best person we know because anyone remotely bad would have assumed we made all this up to trap him, but he just kinda went with it. He’s great. I wouldn’t have believed us. I know Tiny wouldn’t have believed us. He would have found a way that all of our problems were Bliss’ fault. BUT THEY AREN’T!!!!! Only some of them are… So anyway, we’re in NYC (What the cool kids call NYC), and we hear about a cluster of “death by pulverization”s in Kansas, so I says to Mable, I says “We gotta get that boy educated now”. So Chuck says “Yarp, d’aHarp Harp” and off we go! Turns out Punchy Mc’FarmySmash has been working as a meat tenderizer at the local club, called… Zero? What the fuck kind of name is that? Whatever, Club Zero. Because marketing means NOTHING in Kansas."

Excerpt from Diary as dictated by Adam Douglas to “I don’t know, whoever was around… Why not that guy…”

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FUTURE Future future (future)
We're on a boat!

Jacob and Adam met with Sara Tonini to look into her mental conditioning. Upon doing some investigation, they discovered that all of Sara’s mind is in there somewhere and it was a moulding of her soul that made her not look at her core personality and programmed her. Adam is confident that with Xavier acting as assistant, he can repair the damage. Adam approached Xavier about ‘all the things we aren’t being told’ and Xavier agreed to start hosting a weekly seminar. Xavier teased that aliens might or might not exist. That’s when Adam decided to telepathically check. Turns out they are real.

The first seminar talked about the afterlife. Turns out it’s not so much a rule as a guideline. There may be some kind of objective morality but subjectivity factors in. Team one was then granted use of the yacht for the weekend. They had a good time. Tiny drank a lot, Scott and Jean did not. Jacob opted to play babysitter, staying mostly sober and supervising the activity with his luck powers.

On the way back to the mansion, all the vehicles on the road stopped. The team was addressed by a fellow calling himself Mr. Echo. He then instructed the team to tell Nathan that they were even. Unless Nathan seemed confused by that, in which case, Nathan owed Mr. Echo one. Then, the team appeared in the year 2249.

2049 immediately terrified the team. Self driving cars all over the place and prompt police response to minor infractions caused the team to conclude they were in an authoritarian state. Questioning an employee of a local wildlife preserve revealed the existence of a caste system, a Trump family member in the Presidency, and widespread acceptance in the public of Mutancy.

Telepathic contact was made with Jean Grey 2249 by Jean Grey 2017. Upon contact being established, Jean 2017 turned into a fiery bird and flew off. A little while after, Jean 2249 showed up to talk to the team. She brought them to an island. She revealed that she had ‘absorbed’ Jean 2017 and would ‘disgorge’ Jean 2017 again when it was time for the team to go home, as there could only be one Jean. The Phoenix inside of her was a Brute Fact of the Universe and therefore could only have one existence at a time. In her opinion, Nathan probably referred to Nathaniel Essex (Mr. Sinister) or Nathan (son of Jean 2249 and Scott 2249, which Scott 2017 was not to know about by request of Jean 2249). Jacob used his MUTANT POWERS!!!! to deduce that we were here for Nathan, Son of Scott. His powers also confirmed that we were meant to do our thing in Australia. As such, the team prepared to go to Australia 2249. Jean confessed that it was a Mutant country, but refused to discuss more about it.

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I really suck someone else should do this
Blarg

During a wilderness survival class Wolverine become aggressive, (caused by a Limbo and Bliss combo attack) he did have enough sense to immediately get as far from people (including the students) as possible. The students successfully avoided being attacked, encountered Sara Tonini, did not fall for the Bliss/Limbo trap, revealed the Limbo/Weapon-X collaboration (Weapon-X wanted to reacquire Wolverine, Limbo wanted to reacquire Tartarus). Plan foiled. Sara Tonini (Bliss) acquired.

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XP on my birthday

2

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I had to make minutes
I suck, someone else should do this

Saved rat face guy, his name is Sam, we gotta call him Sam.
Formed Xavier’s Student Union – which is sort of an unranked collective.
People joined stuff at Bayville.
Bayville students wanted to know how you go about getting those sweet mutie powers.
Xavier opened the training room for student training due to dangers at Bayville.

Agent joined photography club.
Phin joined football.
Greg joined a model building ‘club’.

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